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Parent's Corner

Parents – You don’t owe anyone an apology for raising kids

Parenting, need a break, mom, dad, stressed, parents, raising kids 

We’ve ALL been there right?

You’re busy being Mom or Dad and someone shows up at the door–unannounced. The first thing you do is apologize for the mess, and then explain why the shoes are not put away, the dishes aren’t finished and you haven’t swept your kitchen floor in what appears to be a week, but really hasn’t been more than 30 minutes.

“Sorry it’s such a mess! We haven’t gotten chores done for the day yet, and the kids needed to put their shoes away, but haven’t yet” Sorry! I too am SO guilty of this! All. The. Time. But here’s the thing. We all need to stop.

Stop.

Right now, stop.

Why are the shoes out? Because you sent your little one to find a pair of shoes to go run an errand. In the process they pulled out 15 other pairs of shoes and dumped them on the floor. Don’t expect them to put them all back, it was hard enough to get them to find their shoes to begin with!

Why are the dishes not done? Will they ever be done? Ha! I feel like at our house, we unload, we load, we eat and repeat. It NEVER ends. Not to mention the toddler climbing on to unload everything you’ve just loaded. So, odds of coming over to my house when I have an empty sink and no dirty dishes in sight?? 1 in 5,323,508. Unless you give me fair warning you are stopping by. You better believe I’ll bust my butt, put the kids in front of the tv and get those dishes done.

The floor? Seriously. I swept it TEN minutes ago. But my 3 year old wanted cereal, and didn’t want to wait for me to change the baby. Or that time my 5 year old wanted to make herself a sandwich, but didn’t want to wait for me to nurse a screaming newborn. So she made herself a sandwich. A Mayonaise and strawberry sandwich. So that explains the strawberry greens on my JUST swept kitchen floor. I sweep my kitchen floor all day long. It won’t be clean when you come over. I can guarantee it.

We need to give ourselves more credit though. If we spend all day worrying about a clean house you’re going to miss the little stuff. You’ll miss your 3 year old telling you just how much he loves you. You’ll miss that moment your 5 year old tells you how beautiful your food is even if it “tastes disgusting”.  Or when your 8 year old comes to hug you, you’ll miss the chance to hug them back…squeeze them and let them know you love them! You’ll miss all of it if you are so concerned about getting that dang kitchen floor swept right this second. These moments with our children, will mean the world to them, and you. I guarantee they will remember how much you showed them you love them. The time you spent with them, the games you played, the songs you sang, or the times you danced with them all around the house. What they won’t remember. Is whether or not the kitchen floor was swept, that one day when…

It goes beyond this too… When someone comes over unannounced STOP apologizing! You are busy being parent, giving your children everything you can. I am not saying let your house go. A house requires a lot of work. What I am saying is this….focus on what’s important. A house of order, a house with organization, and a house where you take time for upkeep but let little messes go to enjoy your children is what is important. If you have guests show up, and you have a sink full of dishes, so what!

If they don’t like it they can always do them for you! ha! Or, better yet they can inform you ahead of time so you can bust your butt to make sure they are done!

It won’t matter though in the end. What will matter is that you were present. In all those little moments in your childs’ life, you were and are present. What matters is that you loved them and love them still with your whole heart, and showed them every single day that they mean the world to you.

Stop apologizing.

You are busy loving your kids.

You are busy serving others.

You are busy making them mac n’ cheese.

You are busy reading stories, having a dance party, playing dress-up, building a fort, taking walks, showing them how to write, potty-training them, teaching them how to ride a bike, fly a kite, tie their shoes, color a picture, telling them you LOVE THEM.

You are busy being parents.

No Further explanation (or apology) needed.

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    Sabrina
    September 23, 2016 at 12:33 am

    I. Loved. This. Absolutely we need to give ourselves a break and stop apologizing for living!

    • Reply
      raising6
      September 23, 2016 at 12:35 am

      Exactly, thank you!

  • Reply
    Marie Beausoleil
    September 23, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    LOL I wrote a post much like this about why I definitely clean up before *announced* company. But with four children, if you arrive unannounced, we’re keeping it real, baby. Clear a spot off the couch if you need a place to sit down.

    Good post.

    • Reply
      raising6
      September 23, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      LOL, I love it. Keep it real! Thank you!

  • Reply
    Desteny
    September 23, 2016 at 7:15 pm

    Don’t worry, I don’t apologize… but people know better than to show up at my house unannounced!

    It’s a good article. I know a few moms who could really use this advice! I’m definitely sharing!

    • Reply
      raising6
      September 23, 2016 at 7:23 pm

      Thank you! I have, in the past, been so guilty of apologizing, but I like your approach! Let people know not to show up unannounced!
      Thanks for the share!

  • Reply
    Jaclyn Bree
    September 26, 2016 at 6:50 am

    Agree. Agree, agree, and agree again. Thank you for saying it.

    • Reply
      raising6
      September 26, 2016 at 2:01 pm

      Thank you for reading! It needs to be said ?

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